way to go cotton.

the nightly parade

sometimes i like to try things other than the norm. i suppose you can deem this post as just such an effort. scripture says that the Lord gives, and he also takes away. who are we to question his reasoning. after all, romans speaks of his ways being unsearchable. i find comfort in this, knowing that my God is after his glory, and the edification of his bride, the church. i would find no joy in serving a god with an intellect similar to mine. however, pain still exist. i suppose true joy would not exist if pain did not exist. the idea of heartbreak is an interesting thing to me. one still functions with a broken heart, for the most part. although, sometimes the most mundane tasks can seem impossible. it's not so much that one feels physically ill, although, that can certainly go hand in hand with heartbreak. however, something just hurts. is it possible for one's heart to really ache. is such a thing possible, or is it merely an idea birthed in our heads? i think such a thing possible.

the shadow proves the sunshine

God is good.

i am not.

God is merciful.

i am not.

God is just.

i am not.

God is patient.

i am not.

God is empathetic.

i am not.

God is gracious.

i am not.

God is love.

i am loved.

three white stripes

the past days have proven themselves to be quite difficult. my first diagnosis would be loneliness. however, after thought and consideration, i am fairly certain that is not the problem. rather the problem lies in my idleness. i tend to not fight for anything i want, or need. i hope it comes, and if not, frustration is my embrace. i very well may have a problem with fighting for things. whenever i do fight for something, it usually leads to rejection, and i do not handle that very well. i wonder what i will do with my life, or who i will spend my life with, and where will i be in five years. it is kind of exciting not knowing the answers to these questions. it leaves an element of mystery and surprise in our life. i suppose i am just weary. weary of many things. most of all, i am tired of apathy.

feature film

i am typically not a person in favor of movies. i enjoy them, occasionally, but i tend to just steer clear of them. however, these past days have proved otherwise. i have watched movie, after movie, after movie, after... well, you get the idea. something about a well written script and great cinematography has all of the sudden started to mean much more to me.

with all that being said, i desperately want to make a movie, but know i probably will not.

what is it about our dreams that make them so terrifying to chase after? i do not want to fail. i do not like giving myself to something, or someone, just to see that i have fallen short. however, we must not overlook the lessons learned in these instances. regardless, i want to make a movie but it seems so daunting, so unattainable. why bother? i don't have the right gear, time, finances, people; these are some thoughts invading my mind. dreams.

with all the being said, i desperately want to make a movie, and i might.

mewithoutyou

have you ever met someone whom you cannot get out of your head...



his name was curtis. he said he was hungry. he just wanted something to eat, and some cash to find someplace to stay for the night. i am well aware of the socially accepted rule of never giving cash to someone asking for it. however, who am i to judge? after talking with curtis i found out he was from houston, and came to dallas in 2004. he then proceeded to tell me his wife had died in 2004, and he has been on the streets ever since. "it hurt so bad, she was my soulmate, and my bestfriend... she was my everything" he told me. "i wanted to give up, i didn't want to go on anymore. i did not want to commit suicide, but i felt very hopeless. i didn't tell a doctor that 'cause they would just put me in a crazy hospital." curtis is an incredible man, and i can only hope to run into him again.

on another note, mewithoutyou concert was last night. best concert. ever. hands down.

also, florida is soon. very soon.

mr. hathaway

what a fun video.

longing for something more

i have felt very alone these past couple of days. surrounded by people, yet, feeling as though none of those people care to pursue meaningful relationship with me. for awhile i struggled with this idea of loneliness. for me it meant i was not satisfied in Christ. however, i no longer think that true. i understand and believe that Christ is sufficient for any of my needs, desires, pains, and joys. with that being said, possessing a longing for a physical someone who knows everything and is always there is a healthy desire. however, this desire cannot consume all things in your life, leading to idolatry.

an article

i enjoy night time car rides through cities which die at the setting of the sun, with good music.