Wednesday, April 08, 2009

orange juice and graduation

i am drinking my routine morning orange juice and eating a nice cinnamon raisin bagel right now, and it is nice. i think it is nice for the most part because it is a routine in my life. i know my orange juice will be in the fridge, and my bagel in the pantry, when i wake each morning. it is comforting to have such a consistency in my life, even if it is as simple as bread and juice. not much in my life has been consistent this last week or so, and it is scary. i have been dealing with certain thoughts, and dealing with them to what seems to be no accord. i do not like this. i like resolution, but it seems hard to come by these days.

i had a lengthy paragraph concerning marriage in our culture but decided it did not truly convey my ideas, so it is no more.

i am struggling.

i am not okay.

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